Verbal and emotional abuse is sinister...it often occurs behind closed doors and leaves no visible scars (although the negative emotional and mental impact can be devastating).
I was married to my abuser for four years and we were together for a total of almost 12 years. Somewhere along the way things changed. I can remember the first time verbal abuse occured in our relationship.. We had been married for just 3 months. I was laying on the couch, in a major depressive episode and almost in a catatonic state. I had been unhappy since our honeymoon, it was hardly what I imagined marriage to be, he didn't always show respect towards me and communication between us was tense. He came home from working late and I was vaguely aware of his presence, paralyzed by severe depression. When I didn't respond to his greeting or his attempts to get my attention, in frustration he demanded to know what was wrong and when I didn't answer, he got in my face and yelled "What's your f****** problem, b****? This shocked me out of my stupor. I was blindsided, shocked, and deeply hurt and began to cry. I didn't even know how to react. The first words uttered out of my mouth were "I want a divorce" and I think equally shocked, he replied "No, no, no" and at that I point. bawling, I told him I was depressed. This wasn't the way it was suppose to be, was it, with your spouse yelling hurtful things, when you needed him to be supportive? At that point, he took me into his arms and comforted me & apologized. He was the source of my pain and my comfort. After that incident, things went back to "normal" but I had a sense things weren't right. I found myself beginning to try to fix him & our relationship. (More coming as I feel up to writing)